“Soul Shopping Without A Sale”

 I’ve uncovered some real life ways to help you go, “Soul Shopping Without a Sale.”Have you ever asked yourself the question, “Why am I not happy?”  “Why do I feel so sad?”  Have you found that even though you have a good life, a good family, good friends…it feels as if something is missing? So, in the season of shopping, let us think, “What if, for the first time in my life, I started off my Christmas shopping, not in search for the perfect gift but rather in search of my true self?” “Where would I shop?” “Would I stroll the aisles of Oscar de la Renta or would I look for a bargain on the shelves of the Dollar Store?” “How much is my soul really worth?” “What price would I put on finding my identity and character?” “How can I shop for someone else this Christmas season when I don’t even know myself?” This is an ongoing journey and I’ve uncovered some real life ways to help you go, “Soul Shopping Without a Sale.”

  1. Be still- You can’t develop a relationship with yourself when you’re going 90 miles a minute. Regardless of where you’re at…take some time to just BE STILL. You’ll be surprised at what answers become clear.
  2. Notice what puts you in a good mood temporarily and what keeps you there. Stay in tune with your feelings and take note when you experience a warmth in your heart and when you sense your pulse race with anger.
  3. Make a conscience decision to be the person the Lord wants you to be. There is something very liberating about knowing that the path of our existence isn’t left into just our hands. Ask Him to help you find who you are in God…not who you are in the world.
  4. Understand that this life is just a big classroom and that we are here to learn. The truth is we are NOT defined by our failures and when we look at our lives knowing we are here on this earth to learn, it changes our perspective on everything.  In the words of Dr. Maya Angelou,  “Do the best you can until you know better.  Then when you know better, do better.”
  5. Go on a date with yourself. After 3 dates, I promise you…you’ll understand what I’m saying. Just like getting to know a person in a new relationship, going on a date with yourself will unlock barriers you never knew existed within yourself.
  6. Make your “Yes” strong and your “No” even stronger. Have the courage to not allow the “No” to even enter your space. It will be difficult at first but after you feel what it’s like to stand up for something small,  it gets easier to stand up for something big.  Acknowledge what is your poison and what brings you life.
  7. Remember who you were! Remember what you loved once. Allow yourself to appreciate what past experiences have taught you or helped shape you into the person you are today.  Part of losing ourselves, is recognizing that somewhere along our lives, we started listening to others on what our preferences SHOULD be instead of staying strong to what WE originally loved in the first place. So… If you still have the shoebox with keepsakes from the past, get it out… and take yourself on a journey to remember what you USED to love once ago.
  8. Don’t equate your success with your identity. American Author, Father Richard Rohr says that “Success is hardly ever your true self, only your early window dressing.  It gives you some momentum for the journey, but it is never the real goal.  Soul expanding is what makes our character but it doesn’t happen in the good times.  Our souls expand when we are faced with adversity and disappointment.
  9. Stop being the victim.  When we have a mindset that the world is out to get us then our true identity gets masked.  It’s such a waste of energy to think that others need to be DEmoted in order for us to be PROmoted and anytime you are in that space you are operating from a false self. To me, self-identity isn’t the reflection we’ve manufactured, it’s the raw existence of something which was already there.
  10.  Accept the journey. Be open to wanting to seek who you really are and embrace that it’s NOT going to happen in a day.


With being on the brink of holiday shopping season, don’t make it a season of crowded stores, of late night bargain hunting, of exasperated discoveries all with one single purpose… to find the perfect gift.  I challenge you with this question once again, “How can you shop for someone when you don’t even know yourself?”  This is a journey that you can’t achieve by frantic last minute shopping.  It’s not a journey where coupons can be cut, bargains could be made, and negotiations could be considered. It is a voyage to self-discovery that begins with times of stillness, that travels through conscience inner awareness, and embarks with a complete willingness to spend the time to go “Soul Shopping Without A Sale.”


  1. So much happiness in my heart for this journey you take us along each and every week.

    • Nikki DeSalvatore says

      And every week I look forward to spending time with you all. I’m trying to bless you guys but I’m the one who’s actually being blessed. Your words…they mean so much!

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