Gentleness & Decision Making

How confident and easy does it feel to you to make decisions?  Today: 3 ways to experience gentleness in decision making. #podcastHow confident and easy does it feel to you to make decisions? Does it feel like a gentle process in your life?

 

Today: 3 ways to experience gentleness in decision making.

 

Also stories about our huge school decisions, late night campfires, and a little about that insane hour that is just before dinner.

 

Bonus first thing: It’s important to ask the obvious questions first.

The beauty of obvious questions- if there’s a clear answer, you’re done!

 

What are the obvious questions?

They are related to who we’ve chosen to Be. Our identity. As believers, we’ve chosen to align our identity with Christ and follow him in obedience.

 

Obvious questions are things like:

Is this an issue of absolute truth, clear biblical morality, or clearly revealed will of God? Does the Bible clearly have a stance on this issue?

Am I open to his leading or am I resistant to being swayed in some way? Have I prayed about it?

Is there an obvious Biblical principle that applies here? Ex: love, honesty, stewardship Is your spouse extremely certain of the decision and you are just resisting?

 

Cue: embarrassing example of when I was praying about when to get married

 

But sometimes we go through the obvious questions, don’t see a clear line, and still feel stuck.

 

Here’s 3 of my favorite Questions to try:

 

  1. How do I feel? What do I need?

Ok, that’s two, but they go together, so I’m counting it as 1.

 

Example: That couple hours of insanity in the late afternoon:

-Little kids are up from their nap,

-older kids are mostly done with school

-You are making dinner

 

-There’s a fight breaking out in the living room

-The phone is ringing

-Someone is crying

  • Dinner is burning
  • AND, Dad is either about to walk in the door, or he just texted to tell you he isn’t going to be home for another two

 

“What on earth do I do? I can’t be in all these places at once, fixing everything at once! This is insane!”

 

Enter: The question!

“How do you feel? What do you need?” Then, listen.

 

Often the answer is, “Woman, you’ve needed to go to the bathroom for the last two hours! Stop and go do that.”

 

When I do the thing I need, I can see more clearly how to prioritize everything else. Do you see how this decision isn’t really dictated scripturally?

How do you feel? What do you need? And listen. Easy. Gentle. And yet, it’ll blow your socks off how effective it can be.

 

  1. Which choice will I be glad I made in 10 years?

 

Example: Once upon a time I was staying at someone else’s house and we had enjoyed a bonfire that night. The fire was almost out, in a clearing, away from the house and close to water, but I was having trouble sleeping because it wasn’t out completely.

 

It was probably going to be fine- far away, only coals, even raining. Yet, I was nervous.

 

I felt silly that I was standing there waivering about it. “Oh Mary, you’re just being ridiculous- nothing is going to happen.”

 

Besides, it wasn’t my fire, or my house, or my land, I was a guest. If I went down there and put it out, I might cause us a conflict.

Was it really that important? Enter: Question 2:

Which choice will you be glad you made in 10 years?

 

Ah! Easy peasy! In 10 years I would never regret making sure that fire was thoroughly out.

 

Never.

 

So, out went the fire. And there was a little discussion and some hurt feelings, which we worked through, but no regrets.

 

What decision will you be glad you made 10 years from now?

 

  1. What does fear say? What does faith say?

 

Example: The decision to put everyone in school!

 

You see up until this year, we’ve homeschooled. But this summer has been different.

 

There has been a stirring in my heart. Perhaps we might choose something different. I was a little scared.

Too many transitions, surely we needed continuity somewhere…so I stalled.

 

I was scared

  • nervous about the conversation with Brandon
  • unsure what others would think about my coaching business that began as a homeschool specialist
  • And all the classics: Would my kids be on grade level? Would they be ok? Are they going to struggle? WIll I be one of THOSE parents?

Enter: Question 3 What does fear say?

Fear says, you are crazy and this is a terrible time to do this and you’re probably gonna pay

big time for this one.

 

But what does faith say?

 

Faith says, you’ve always made this decision together with Brandon and you’ve decided to be on the same page. You can at least talk to him about how you are feeling and go from there.

 

We did have that conversation. It went easier than ever because in 2 minutes we realized we were on the same page.

 

If there is a decision in your life where fear is shoving out the gentleness, I encourage you to consider,

What is fear saying? What does faith say? Allow your heart to settle and trust and decide from that place.

 

 

To recap:

How do I feel and what do I need?

What choice will I be glad I made in 10 years? What does fear say? What does faith say?

 

Two bonus encouragements:

We can Trust God’s sovereignty. His will is never defeated by your puny decisions.

 

WE can trust God’s kindness. The Bible says in Isaiah that he gently leads those that are with young. Y’all, he’s not up there hovered over his heavenly computer like a strategic video game waiting with anticipation to push the smite button on us. He loves us, cares for us, and gently leads us if we let him.

Speaking of God’s Kindness, that’s September’s theme! Join me! Tell your friends! Finally, what’s that one ah-ha you are taking away from today’s episode?

Take a minute to take action!

What one idea will help you make decisions more easily?

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