Practical Connection Tips

We all know that creating and having practical connections are harder than we think. Whether you’re a priest, religious, clergy, teacher, mental health professional, spiritual director, or medical professional, these are some ways you can boost the rapport in your relationships by honoring the dignity of those to whom you’re relating.

The four principles of practical connection are what we all need and for which we long. These tips can help us be intentional about relating in honoring and even healing ways.

Chosen – directly and intentionally engaging with someone from the foundational principle that all people are made in the image and likeness of God, have inherent value, and are due respect and the same compassion the Lord shows us.

Make eye contact
Smile
Don’t interrupt or entertain distractions
If someone else interrupts you or your attention is required elsewhere for a moment, acknowledge the interruption (e.g., Say something like, “I’m sorry for the distraction.”)

Known – recognize the other is sharing who they are, which isn’t a challenge or competition with who you are.

Listen attentively, making eye contact.
Reflect back on what they are saying so they know you get it.
Don’t get defensive or offensive.

Valued – all people have the same extraordinary dignity as children of God. If a person is not behaving in accord with their value and I treat them poorly because of that, then I’m doing the same thing they are.

Don’t relate to people for what you can get from them.
Even if you must ask for something, recognize that thing or favor is not their source of worth/value.
Express gratitude, and say “thank you.”

Boundaries – there’s a place where I stop, and you start, and the Lord has protective boundaries around each of us. Because we are body, mind, and spirit, we all need healthy boundaries in each area. It is a matter of good stewardship of myself. I need to also respect your steps toward good stewardship of yourself and the Lord’s boundaries for you (Jn 15:4).

Ask for what you need clearly and calmly. Clear is kind.
My boundaries for me cannot infringe upon your boundaries for you. My boundaries are what I need to provide for me, not requiring you to provide for me in ways you aren’t ethically, morally, or legally obligated.

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Practical Connection Tips