Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative Parenting | It's not easy to parent today, because there is a blog, a tv show or your neighbor, relative or best friend who knows of a better way. In this episode, we cut through the fluff and talk about the importance of being the parent in this time of anything goes. | #podcast #christianpodcastAuthoritative Parenting ~ Episode 22

I first heard the term, “authoritative parenting” when glancing at an article and seeing that it fit pretty closely to my parenting style. It’s not easy to parent today, because there is a blog, a tv show or your neighbor, relative or best friend who knows of a better way. In this episode, we cut through the fluff and talk about the importance of being the parent in this time of anything goes.

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Parenting takes time, parenting takes commitment and parenting takes backbone, but it also takes heart. Our children are precious and I believe on loan to us from the amazing Creator God! Little children tend to look up to their parents, and love unconditionally so what happens when they grow-up?

I always say that God knew what He was doing when He created teenagers, don’t get me wrong, I loved all of the teen years, but sometimes I felt like when the time came for them to leave, I’d help them pack! When your children are young you or they may have separation anxiety, our little ones want to be with us, close to us and that is normal, that is good. But all of our parenting stems around the ability to use our love for our children in a way that is healthy for now and the future.

I’ve heard friends say things like, “It’s a good thing that child number one was so easy going because if I had child number two first, I might have only had one kid!” (And that child was standing within hearing range.) Friends your kids are sponges they have eyes and ears everywhere, just like they can’t often pull one over us they same goes for them! If you are talking about a baby, then maybe the toddler is listening.

Being an authoritative parent doesn’t mean being overly strict but it also doesn’t mean being permissive. Being a parent means following through and I believe each one of us has an area we need to work on, the latter was always my area of struggle. I was what was called a threatening-repeating-parent. Do this now… if you don’t do this now you are going to be in trouble … do it RIGHT now, or else… you get the picture. If I had given instruction and gotten up when the instruction was not followed with some sort of punishment I can guarantee I would not have to repeat myself next time. Sure, it sometimes takes practice with a little one, my husband says that kids are gamblers, they gamble you won’t follow through!

Here are some tips of what I believe fits an authoritative parenting style:

  1. You are strict, but you are flexible. It isn’t my way or the highway – but it is, this is how we are going to do things in our family.
  2. Our kids know what we want them to do, there is no guessing. Bedtime is at 8, we brush our teeth first, get a drink of water, say prayers and then off to bed. Or, no snacks before mealtime. Etc.
  3. We hear them when they speak. If they want to input when we are giving instruction, we can ask them to wait until we are finished – but we hear them. What they have to say may not necessarily sway our instructions but we give them a voice. (I would say when a child argued: “Have you ever had me change my mind when you argue with me? (“No. But it should.”) I would just smile and my child would drop it or suffer the consequences.
  4. Our kids know there are consequences. Our kids learned Newton’s third law is: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  In other words, if you mess up you will pay for it in some type of punishment and more than likely you won’t like it. (Corner-Mike)
  5. We don’t say hurtful things. Never character assassination. It is not worth it – the hate word was not permitted even among siblings.
  6. We are fair and just.
  7. We provide emotional support and love. Need to know they can count on us.
  8. We are consistent.
  9. We ask for forgiveness. Even we are wrong.

We do our best, we don’t always get it right, but we do try. Our kids need to know this, that we love them and can trust us to say what we mean and do what we say!

 

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